flooffe (flooffe) wrote,
flooffe
flooffe

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I don't wanna be alone



Finally, I was in the shower. I hopped the hot water would take my dark toughts away at the same time as all the dirt on my skin, but I just wanted to cry, to scream, to lie down or to hide somewhere, whatever.
Each time I blinked, I could see the scenes : The dying deer being taken away, the... beast, or even worst, I could almost feel its presence, right behind my back, ready to take me like it took the deer.
Tears were welling up again, and I hid my face in my hands.
What did I saw ?

I quickly dryed, putted my pajama on and got to my bedroom.
Jonathan was here, rolling out a sleeping bag.
He stared at me, and asked :
"- Better ?"
He seemed so concerned about me, his wrinkled eyes were shining with anxiety.
"- Yeah..."
I wasn't really sure of this answer, right now I just wanted to lie down under my blankets and cry.
The boy looked so anxious, like if he doesn't know what to do. It would have made me laught if I was in a normal mood, but... Tonight were not the good time.
"- If it's okay, I...I found that in the closet.. By the way, if it bother you, I... I can go home..."
The idea of being alone tonight hit me, and I quickly rejected this idea.
"- No no, I, I don't wanna be alone..."
Did I just speaked too... Weirdly ? No it's normal right, he understands, nothing awkward, I'm just scared and I need someone.
He smiled softly to my answer. To break the weirdness, I reached to my bed, and quickly got in.
I heard him trying to cover himself with the sleeping bag, and I felt quite bad for him. Is that right to force him to sleep on the floor ?
Is that okay to sleep with an other guy in my bedroom ? Was that like... cheating on Steve ? No of course no, nothing wrong with it, just sleeping, right.
I could hear him trying to breath as silently as possible, and one more time I felt bad for him. But whatever, he is a guy right, he is strong ?
I wrapped myself better in my blankets, and tried to focus on sleeping. It didn't lasted more than 30 seconds. Each time I closed my eyes, the same scene came back in my head.
"- Jonathan... Can you just come up here ?, I asked quietly. I... I just can't... Sleep alone..."
"- W-well, of course."
I heard him waking up and getting in my bed, as I realized what I just asked him. My mother would kill me if she knew. I hope I'm not being embarassing for him, and that-
"- You letting the lights turned on ?, he asked suddently, cutting my thoughts."
"- Yeah..."
Silence. I was glad he agreed to sleep with me tonight, I don't know what I would have done without anyone, alone in my bedroom, the forest where all took place right behind the gard-
"- You know, it can't get us here."
He was trying to confort me. Does I seem so worried ?
I turned myself, now... Facing him. He looked surprised at me, then blushed and seemed even more embarassed.
"- We don't know that. You haven't seen what this beast can do. What it looks like. What it could have done to me..."
Tears were now running on my cheeks. I couldn't have avoided it, so I tried to hide my face into my hand.
"- Nancy..."
His tone was now sad, as I felt his hand on my arm.
"- Hey Nancy, please just... Don't cry. Nothing will happen here. I am here. You... You're not alone. I can protect you."
"- ...Jonathan..!"
I couldn't help myself and I just let myself in this arms. I only heard a quick sight from him, and he hugged me, holding the back of my head against him.
"- Hey Nancy, don't cry, that's ok, we're ok now right ? Please don't cry..."
"- I...I'm so sorry Jonathan, I can't help you... This thing... I'm too weak Jonathan, I wish I could have helped you, but... This beast... Barbara... And Will..."
I bursted in tears, against him, while he was holding me and petting my head.
"- Hey Nancy, please don't say things you will regret later. We're here. I'm here."
After some minutes, I moved back, wiped my face and looked at him. He was staring at me, and his eyes were wet. Then gave me a gentle smile, and turned me back, avoiding my eyes.
"- ... Thank you Jonathan."
"- You're welcome. Now sleep, tomorrow will be an other day."
I lied down, and covered myself in my blankets, looking for sleep.
Tags: nancy; jonathan; strangerthings; ship; j
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